My friend posted an article called “10 Things to Never Say to a Pregnant Woman.”

the-richie:

…it was terrible and not funny, so I started leaving these as comments on his page about the article.

So I present you with 10 Things to Never Ever Say to a Pregnant Woman.

  1. "Oh, your first, defective kid needs spare parts, huh?"
  2. "No, I believe ‘gestating’ is the word you are looking for."
  3. "What’s he building in there?"
  4. "UNBELIEVABLE. TIME DISTORTION. SPACE IS THE PLACE, MEAN GENE OAKERLAND. GO DOWN THAT LONESOME HIGHWAY. YEEEAH. BUT DON’T BE HYPNOTIZED, NO. REINCARNATION DOESN’T HAVE TO BE, YOU CAN CONCENTRATE AND YOU CAN… MENTAL. TELEPATHY. YEEEAH. BUT THE BEAT GOES ON."
  5. "He tasks me. He tasks me and I shall have him! I’ll chase him ‘round the moons of Nibia and ‘round the Antares Maelstrom and ‘round perdition’s flames before I give him up!"
  6. "Bet you can’t wait till that thing start pissing, shitting, and puking on everything you hold sacred."
  7. "How hard do you want me to punch you in the stomach?"
  8. "So you see, way back then, uh, Sicilians were like, uh, wops from Northern Italy. Ah, they all had blonde hair and blue eyes, but, uh, well, then the Moors moved in there, and uh, well, they changed the whole country. They did so much fuckin’ with  Sicilian women, huh? That they changed the whole bloodline forever. That’s why blonde hair and blue eyes became black hair and dark skin. You know, it’s absolutely amazing to me to think that to this day, hundreds of years later, that, uh, that Sicilians still carry that nigger gene.”
  9. "Be sure to check out my new website."
  10. "So, are you at the stage where we would be considered a menage au trois?"

nprfreshair:

The Simpsons + Mondrian + Wine 

"Wine, or maybe not? is a playful, minimalist wine bottle design project that will bring a smile to your face. Inspired by the style of famous Dutch painter Pieter Mondrian, the collaborative project was developed by Russian artist Constantin Bolimond and Dmitry Patsukevich in 1987, the same year The Simpsons first aired on The Tracey Ullman Show. And, the contents of the bottle have remained a mystery ever since.” 

Here’s our recent Simpsons tribute